Thank you again for all your blessings over my life. I do appreciate all that you do for me.
home would make a difference?He placed his wedding ring on the nightstand.
Told me let this be my last time coming to this address.
Good night God,
Yo
Sunday, December 23, 2018
"Home" for the Holidays
Hi God,
Thank you again for all your blessings over my life. I do appreciate all that you do for me.
Why would, why should I believe my coming 
home would make a difference?
He placed his wedding ring on the nightstand.
Told me let this be my last time coming to this address.
The wet bar did sort his medications ... I guess he'll be entertaining!
Good night God,
Yo
Thank you again for all your blessings over my life. I do appreciate all that you do for me.
home would make a difference?He placed his wedding ring on the nightstand.
Told me let this be my last time coming to this address.
Good night God,
Yo
Sunday, December 9, 2018
Two Weeks before Christmas
Hi God,
I'm not surprised ... back and forth the calls went .... what started it all?
As discussed with the new position, increased income ... we had an opportunity for a new start as equal partners, equal contributors. We can live our best lives. I'll be preparing for retirement. You prepare for where do you really want to be besides Mississippi. You start moving in that direction, and I will follow.
So, it only seemed natural to discuss contributing to the household. "No, you don't live here anymore."
Back and forth, rehashing old and reoccurring events of being put out, locked out, unprotected, disrespected, ....
My lasts days before starting the new job. "You're leaving." "Take everything with you or it will be trashed." He started emptying drawers and cabinets, piling my things at the front door for me to pack. He was helping me. Cleaning, Fabuloso filled the house. I was on my hands and knees cleaning his bathroom. No sooner did he remove my possessions, he was cleaning away any trace of me.
My prayers, always, that he would realize what a good wife; a faithful, dutiful wife he has. A woman and friend that loved him. I wanted, I need, a Boaz.
The final straw to tonight's exchange ... after two weeks of telling him before i even left for ATL ... I would be home for Christmas. "I'm going to see Miles. I'm driving and meeting him in Pensacola." But that's not it ....
"I HAD THE LOCKS CHANGED."
No Boaz.
Have your way Lord,
Love always, Yo
I'm not surprised ... back and forth the calls went .... what started it all?
As discussed with the new position, increased income ... we had an opportunity for a new start as equal partners, equal contributors. We can live our best lives. I'll be preparing for retirement. You prepare for where do you really want to be besides Mississippi. You start moving in that direction, and I will follow.
So, it only seemed natural to discuss contributing to the household. "No, you don't live here anymore."
Back and forth, rehashing old and reoccurring events of being put out, locked out, unprotected, disrespected, ....
My lasts days before starting the new job. "You're leaving." "Take everything with you or it will be trashed." He started emptying drawers and cabinets, piling my things at the front door for me to pack. He was helping me. Cleaning, Fabuloso filled the house. I was on my hands and knees cleaning his bathroom. No sooner did he remove my possessions, he was cleaning away any trace of me.
My prayers, always, that he would realize what a good wife; a faithful, dutiful wife he has. A woman and friend that loved him. I wanted, I need, a Boaz.
The final straw to tonight's exchange ... after two weeks of telling him before i even left for ATL ... I would be home for Christmas. "I'm going to see Miles. I'm driving and meeting him in Pensacola." But that's not it ....
"I HAD THE LOCKS CHANGED."
No Boaz.
Have your way Lord,
Love always, Yo
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Counting Down to the ATL
Hi God,
I haven't written in so long .... I've been to Hawaii with FEMA to respond to volcano lava and flooding. Later, called back out to respond to the flooding in North Carolina and South Carolina.
BACK STORY:
Interview popping .... July, EEO Manager in Albuquerque - GS12, Step 6; in August, EEO Specialist in Kansas - GS11, Step 1; October, EEO Manager in South Dakota - GS12, Step 10; October, ADR Mediator in Atlanta - GS12, Step 10.
I went to my husband ... knowing, learning that he handles events better when he has time to digest it. And I have to time to navigate through the interview process of each position before an offer is made.
Albuquerque made the first offer, I accepted, and two days before I was to leave the offer was rescinded for budget reasons.
After that I accepted all the offers.
I rescinded from Kansas. Accepted S. Dakota before the offer from Atlanta. I want to rescind the offer but because of the last minute offer pulled back by New Mexico ... I haven't.
Start date for both ... Nov. 25th. Bringing mom with me ... wherever I go. S. Dakota has the opportunity to interface with the Sioux Nation .... but so far. So cold, the long winters, Mom's medical issues. ATL traffic congestion .... bad commute ... the only downside ... close to Baltimore, close to Mom's medical team. Talking in over with Husband. This is a second chance for us. Equal footing. Come and visit with me and mom. I'll come home. We can make this work.
I had a pod delivered. Came home, only to find Husband at home when he was suppose to be at a doctor's appointment. He attempted to make so reasons why he was home - lies! Whatever you say at this point.
Preparing for the move. Husband's anxiety is beginning to heighten. moving. "Get your stuff, all your stuff." So now, I had to send back the cube and rent space on a trailer. "I'm divorcing you for abandonment. You took the job so you're abandoning the marriage. No community property."
This was the beginning and its continuing. Saturday, he begins emptying my stuff from the kitchen the bathroom, kitchen drawers ... cleaning and wiping. The pile in the living room growing. Walking into the garage, looking into his room, the revolver laying on the bed. It laid there all day. Why did he take it out of the drawer ... and just left it laying there. I couldn't ignore it but I didn't comment to him. He's not allowing me to gather and pack my own things.
The pic above ... Sunday morning. He comes upstairs and grabs the orange lamp from the nightstand, pulling the cord from behind the bed. He took the other lamp from the other room ... I guess ... so, I wouldn't have access to that one as well. Those are the lamps ... placed in the office which is now off limits to me. I'm back to be a bitch, whore, and leach ... He's back. He always comes back.
Text I sent him after church:
GRACEFULLY BROKEN!
2am, He's here in my room apologizing. Trying to rationalize, justify the continuing disrespectful behavior. His removing my things at 6:30am is he was cleaning. No he has the energy to clean, to cook, to straighten out his closet.
God make this a peaceful transition, protect me from hurt, harm, and danger. Watch over me while I sleep.
I haven't written in so long .... I've been to Hawaii with FEMA to respond to volcano lava and flooding. Later, called back out to respond to the flooding in North Carolina and South Carolina.
BACK STORY:
Interview popping .... July, EEO Manager in Albuquerque - GS12, Step 6; in August, EEO Specialist in Kansas - GS11, Step 1; October, EEO Manager in South Dakota - GS12, Step 10; October, ADR Mediator in Atlanta - GS12, Step 10.
I went to my husband ... knowing, learning that he handles events better when he has time to digest it. And I have to time to navigate through the interview process of each position before an offer is made.
Albuquerque made the first offer, I accepted, and two days before I was to leave the offer was rescinded for budget reasons.
After that I accepted all the offers.
I rescinded from Kansas. Accepted S. Dakota before the offer from Atlanta. I want to rescind the offer but because of the last minute offer pulled back by New Mexico ... I haven't.
Start date for both ... Nov. 25th. Bringing mom with me ... wherever I go. S. Dakota has the opportunity to interface with the Sioux Nation .... but so far. So cold, the long winters, Mom's medical issues. ATL traffic congestion .... bad commute ... the only downside ... close to Baltimore, close to Mom's medical team. Talking in over with Husband. This is a second chance for us. Equal footing. Come and visit with me and mom. I'll come home. We can make this work.
I had a pod delivered. Came home, only to find Husband at home when he was suppose to be at a doctor's appointment. He attempted to make so reasons why he was home - lies! Whatever you say at this point.
Preparing for the move. Husband's anxiety is beginning to heighten. moving. "Get your stuff, all your stuff." So now, I had to send back the cube and rent space on a trailer. "I'm divorcing you for abandonment. You took the job so you're abandoning the marriage. No community property."
This was the beginning and its continuing. Saturday, he begins emptying my stuff from the kitchen the bathroom, kitchen drawers ... cleaning and wiping. The pile in the living room growing. Walking into the garage, looking into his room, the revolver laying on the bed. It laid there all day. Why did he take it out of the drawer ... and just left it laying there. I couldn't ignore it but I didn't comment to him. He's not allowing me to gather and pack my own things.
The pic above ... Sunday morning. He comes upstairs and grabs the orange lamp from the nightstand, pulling the cord from behind the bed. He took the other lamp from the other room ... I guess ... so, I wouldn't have access to that one as well. Those are the lamps ... placed in the office which is now off limits to me. I'm back to be a bitch, whore, and leach ... He's back. He always comes back.
Text I sent him after church:
GRACEFULLY BROKEN!
I was in Dollar Tree last night and there was a lady and two kids behind me in the LONG line. One was a big kid, one was a toddler. The bigger one had a pack of glow sticks and the baby was screaming for them so the Mom opened the pack and gave him one, which stopped his tears. He walked around with it smiling, but then the bigger boy took it and the baby started screaming again. Just as the Mom was about to fuss at the older child, he bent the glow sticks and handed it back to the baby. As we walked outside at the same time, the baby noticed that the stick was now glowing and his brother said "I had to break it so you could get the full effect from it." I almost ran because l could hear God saying to me, "I had to break you to show you why I created you. I had to go through it so I could fulfill my purpose." That little baby was happy just swinging that "unbroken" glow stick around in the air because he didn't understand what it was created to do which was "GLOW".
There are some people who will be content just "being" but some of us, me, that God has chosen - I have to be "BROKEN".
I WILL GO THROUGH THIS DIVORCE. I will go through you trying to break my character. But in those moments of desperation, God is breaking me and when the breaking is done, then I am be able to see the reason .. so when you see me glowing as I am now. Just know that I have been broken by you but healed by His Grace and Mercy.
2am, He's here in my room apologizing. Trying to rationalize, justify the continuing disrespectful behavior. His removing my things at 6:30am is he was cleaning. No he has the energy to clean, to cook, to straighten out his closet.
God make this a peaceful transition, protect me from hurt, harm, and danger. Watch over me while I sleep.
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
OMG- I'M IN HAWAII AND OVER!
God,
What the heck is going on? I went today to see about difficulty breathing. Got on the scale and it kept going ... I'm not even sure when it stopped
203 lbs!
I don't remember ever crossing that 200lb threshold. I have to do something about this weight immediately.
I am in an unhealthy space all way round.
I need Your help!
Yo
What the heck is going on? I went today to see about difficulty breathing. Got on the scale and it kept going ... I'm not even sure when it stopped
203 lbs!
I don't remember ever crossing that 200lb threshold. I have to do something about this weight immediately.
I am in an unhealthy space all way round.
I need Your help!
Yo
Sunday, July 8, 2018
When He's Like This, It's Always the Same
Hello Jesus!
I haven't written in awhile ... even with all that's hit the fan.
Thank you for the job offer.
Thank you for the negotiation of salary and not having a spirit of fear and acceptance.
I am so excited about the possibility of expanding my territory.
Thank you for providing so I can take care of my family.
Now, my husband ... why???
I gave him my vision over six months ago.
Leave the private sector.
Accept the position with the government.
Any position to get into the door.
Start moving up!
It has all happened.
He tells me get out, leave.
I'll have the locks changed so you can never come back.
Take everything with you.
I'll be filing for divorce for abandonment.
I'll piss on you. I'll open your mouth and piss in it.
My husband, Jesus, I continue to give him to You.
I will always follow where You lead me.
Love you always,
Yo
I haven't written in awhile ... even with all that's hit the fan.
Thank you for the job offer.
Thank you for the negotiation of salary and not having a spirit of fear and acceptance.
I am so excited about the possibility of expanding my territory.
Thank you for providing so I can take care of my family.
Now, my husband ... why???
I gave him my vision over six months ago.
Leave the private sector.
Accept the position with the government.
Any position to get into the door.
Start moving up!
It has all happened.
He tells me get out, leave.
I'll have the locks changed so you can never come back.
Take everything with you.
I'll be filing for divorce for abandonment.
I'll piss on you. I'll open your mouth and piss in it.
My husband, Jesus, I continue to give him to You.
I will always follow where You lead me.
Love you always,
Yo
Sunday, June 10, 2018
Faithlife Women Conference. Angela Thomas
These are Angela Thomas’ speaking notes from the Faithlife Women Conference, presented unaltered and in their entirety.
The followers of Jesus have been given lavish gifts from God. Most of us open the ones we need most and too many of us leave the gift of joy unwrapped or still in the box.
The gift of God is life eternal. (Romans 6:23)
God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable. (Romans 11:29)
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. (Ephesians 1:8)
What has happened to all your joy? (Galatians 4:15)
I was asked to write the devotional called Choosing Joy.
I found that I knew very little about God’s instructions regarding joy.
Turns out God, in the Bible, God is serious about His followers living in joy.
I found that I knew very little about God’s instructions regarding joy.
Turns out God, in the Bible, God is serious about His followers living in joy.
JOY defined – the inner attitude of rejoicing in one’s salvation regardless of outward circumstances. One of the fruits of a right relationship with God.
Why should we unwrap the gift of joy?
Take it out of the box. Put that baby on. Show it off!
1. The Bible clearly commands
Rejoice in the Lord – Phil 3:1 – is a command
Be joyful always. (1 Thessalonians 5:16)
The Bible uses the word joy (Greek and Hebrew) to communicate a positive human condition that can be either a feeling or an action. In this passage the Greek uses the word “joy” in the action sense. Choosing the action of joy.
God did not stutter – always means always.
2. Our joy is for God’s glory
How will we choose joy for the glory of God:
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1)
The goal is to become a living expression of joy.
3. Choosing joy (surrender to the work of the Holy Spirit) transforms your life and therefore all those you influence, love, parent, etc.
4. Joy is evangelistic. Missional. Mountain moving.
Some protest that the pursuit of joy seems self-centered:
It’s NOT!! Pursuing joy and glorifying God are not in conflict. To pursue joy with your whole life is to honor the One who has given you life.
Pursuing joy in God is very different from just enjoying His gifts. Most of us know how to enjoy His gifts, but the pursuit of joy actually transforms us.
His word and our pursuit,
His power and our surrender,
The creator of joy can put His joy inside of us,
HE can create what we cannot manufacture.
The more we approach God for this transformation, the more of God we will encounter.
His power and our surrender,
The creator of joy can put His joy inside of us,
HE can create what we cannot manufacture.
The more we approach God for this transformation, the more of God we will encounter.
God desires that we find our joy, happiness, peace and purpose in Him. When we have done so – HE is glorified!
John Piper – we must fight for joy. We must fight for the relationship that God has called us to. Fight to become the woman filled with joy.
Fight our natures.
Fight sin and countless distractions.
Even fight against the ones who discourage you, so the pursuit of joy becomes your priority.
Fight sin and countless distractions.
Even fight against the ones who discourage you, so the pursuit of joy becomes your priority.
What the Bible has to say about joy:
1. Joy comes from God
Joy was created in the character of God.
Joy was born in the person of Jesus Christ.
Gospel means “message bringing joy.”
Joy was born in the person of Jesus Christ.
Gospel means “message bringing joy.”
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid.’ I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you, he is Christ the Lord. (Luke 2:10-11)
Gospel has been communicated as a message of condemnation or separation, but the NT intent is that the life and message of Jesus be communicated as a message of joy!
The power to choose joy comes from the Holy Spirit.
2. The bible says that joy is a gift to those who belong to Jesus.
Joy is given by God to His followers.
Don’t Postpone your Joy.
Don’t keep waiting to open the gift.
Don’t Postpone your Joy.
Don’t keep waiting to open the gift.
May the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. (Psalm 68:3)
3. The bible shows that joy increases because of our increasing relationship with God.
In our obedience to God, his word, the prompting of the Holy Spirit – there is greater joy.
4. The bible teaches that joy is an action choice (obedience) we make because we follow Jesus Christ. The action can result in the feeling – but they don’t always follow each other.
The bible says this kind of obedience produces joy:
Following God’s Word – Psalm 119:14, Psalm 19:8
Trusting God – Romans 15:13
Being in God’s presence – Psalm 16:9-11
Understanding God’s Word – Jeremiah 15:16, John 17:13
For peacemakers – Proverbs 12:20, Matthew 5:9
Surrender – Psalm 37:4-5
Hope in God – Romans 12:12
Becoming Wise – Proverbs 15:23
Worship – Psalm 100:2, Psalm 149:1-5
Serving others – Philippians 2:1-5
Abiding in Christ – John 15:9-11
Being generous – 2 Corinthians 8:2
Faithful work – Matthew 25:21
Thankfulness for our blessings – Psalm 126:1-6
Trusting God – Romans 15:13
Being in God’s presence – Psalm 16:9-11
Understanding God’s Word – Jeremiah 15:16, John 17:13
For peacemakers – Proverbs 12:20, Matthew 5:9
Surrender – Psalm 37:4-5
Hope in God – Romans 12:12
Becoming Wise – Proverbs 15:23
Worship – Psalm 100:2, Psalm 149:1-5
Serving others – Philippians 2:1-5
Abiding in Christ – John 15:9-11
Being generous – 2 Corinthians 8:2
Faithful work – Matthew 25:21
Thankfulness for our blessings – Psalm 126:1-6
Joy that comes from obedience has benefits:
Freedom from things – Ecclesiastes 2:10-11
Freedom from despair – Isaiah 61:1-2
Comfort – Psalm 63:6-8, Psalm 94:18-19
Forgiveness/Restoration – Psalm 51:12
Peace in our loss – Habakkuk 3:17-18
Peace in our waiting – 2 Chronicles 20:21, 27
Peace through trials – Isaiah 12:2-4
Peace when you are ridiculed – Acts 5:41-42, Romans 12:14
Peace in our trials – James 1:2-4
Freedom from bitterness – Lamentations 3:19-23
Strength when you are weak – Nehemiah 8:10
Joy even in our sorrow – 2 Corinthians 6:10
Freedom from despair – Isaiah 61:1-2
Comfort – Psalm 63:6-8, Psalm 94:18-19
Forgiveness/Restoration – Psalm 51:12
Peace in our loss – Habakkuk 3:17-18
Peace in our waiting – 2 Chronicles 20:21, 27
Peace through trials – Isaiah 12:2-4
Peace when you are ridiculed – Acts 5:41-42, Romans 12:14
Peace in our trials – James 1:2-4
Freedom from bitterness – Lamentations 3:19-23
Strength when you are weak – Nehemiah 8:10
Joy even in our sorrow – 2 Corinthians 6:10
The benefits transform me. JOY is a characteristic of spiritual maturity AND surrender
5. The bible says we have the promise of future joy.
We only know joy in part but one day . . . in full. In your everyday life – FIGHT FOR JOY.
First, fight for the transformation in your very own heart and attitude. You cannot impart what you do not possess. You cannot give the gift you left unopened.
First, fight for the transformation in your very own heart and attitude. You cannot impart what you do not possess. You cannot give the gift you left unopened.
In our homes. Marriage. Church. School. Every sphere of influence.
Mamas – you have the opportunity to give your children something you may have never known.
Single moms – you have the great privilege of setting the tone for your home.
Single moms – you have the great privilege of setting the tone for your home.
Be the sunshine . . .
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)
The righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of the Father. (Matthew 13:43)
Women's Who Made an Impact in the Bible - Here I am Lord, Mold Me!
7 Practices of the Effective Woman:
1. She rises early
2. She maintains the spiritual disciplines
3. She focuses on relational priorities for every season
4. She sets up regular times for planning
5. She develops an effective to-do list system and calendar/planner system
6. She establishes an efficient routine for managing her home
7. She organizes her house systematically
1. She rises early
2. She maintains the spiritual disciplines
3. She focuses on relational priorities for every season
4. She sets up regular times for planning
5. She develops an effective to-do list system and calendar/planner system
6. She establishes an efficient routine for managing her home
7. She organizes her house systematically
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