Mitches and Sistahs!

This what a mitch does ... talks about his baby momma's sister ... on the down low. Only mitches talk shit when they have nothing going on for themselves. This mitch has never had a job, can't keep a job and doesn't look for a job! Who's sitting around ... smh

What's hurtful most about this post ... my sister "liked" this foul post. This really puzzles me. 

I believe my sister still holds some resentment towards me. My sister said sometime last year, that I didn't like her when we were young, always leaving her, never taking her with me. I felt so sad for my sister to hold such hurt for so long. I tried to assure my sister that it was nothing more than big sister not wanting little sister being a shadow.

What of all our trips to North Carolina to visit my college friend and her husband. They not only opened their home to me and my four children, but welcomed my sister as extension of myself ... each and every visit. Never went without my sister. Here my sister met the one she regrets let get away. Again keeping secrets, she felt the need to keep the relationship a secret from "the friends" who opened their home to her, cooked, shared meals with, with trust. Maybe we could have shared some insight and that hard working, dark chocolate brother would be her provider and protector.

I wonder if there's something else or more that my sister hasn't said and is holding on to. I don't know.

It's funny because there are events that I continually try to put behind me when it comes to my sister and mother.

When my sister and I were fighting over the telephone. Instead of my mother breaking it up and punishing the both of us ... she reveled, "Get her DeeDee ... get her! Beat her ass!"

When my son was small, an infant, my sister told me that we couldn't come home that night. We needed to find somewhere else to stay for evening because  my sister was having an overnight/evening visitor that required anonymity. Why .... that really isn't a good reason that you would ever put a dick, especially a cheating, married one, before your sister or before your infant nephew.

When my sister went away, don't remember whether it was overnight or for a weekend, to Atlantic City with my children's father. My sister made a pact not to tell me. What sister does that? Of course, he told and my sister felt like what????

When my sister made the comment that being with that same truck driver was beneath me and my sister states her disappointed in me. My sister stated that she would never have any kind of man but a white collar man. Hmmm ....

When my sister was pregnant with my niece and shared with family members that I was jealous of her. Jealous that my sister was with her child's father. That my sister had the intact family instead of the single mother, baby daddy. When I heard this ... cause you know family is gonna tell! My sister acknowledged and took ownership. Then I had to say to my sister ... why would you go to place of jealousy and not believe that I would be happy for you. The life I live as a single parent is hard and not what God intended. If I had my druthers for my sister ... of course, since now 35 ... and you did whatever you had to do not to get pregnant up till now ... why wouldn't you wait till you married to prince charming???  Well, I not going to answer this ... because then it would make me no better than him. But the answer to this was kept from me for a very long time until my mom broke the dish ... my sister so very much deserve better ... than a mitch!

When my sister said it was not enough for me to tell her the Ipod she received from my son was stolen and needed to be returned to me so I could return it the rightful owner.  My sister called the football coach to authenticate my story. Then my sister called the police on me!!! to recover the stolen Ipod that I removed from my niece's luggage in order to return it to the coach.

But again, for all the shade, betrayals, my sister has thrown my direction. Never have I slighted my sister in the least.... the sister, I,  grew up with. Like I said earlier ... there is some deep rooted resentment or something there that continues to fester.

So now, after all of the above ...

My sister feels something for me ... and it isn't love at all. I'm not angry ... I really feel very sad for my sister. I thought I was the one on the outside with my sister and mom. Maybe I was/ am the better for it.

All I can do now is stay out of my sister's way. What was suppose to be time spent with my sister and niece has turned ugly ... not the special time I had hoped to remember.

My worst fear was that I was going to turn out like my mom ... depressed, low self-esteem ... not knowing that you're special and deserve the best ... A HERO not a zero.

I see a lot of my mom in my sister. My sister has a Joe Lonesome.

I love my sister unconditionally and fully without hesitation. I pray for my sister constantly.

I bought one for each of us on our birthday: my sister, her daughter, my daughter and me. Thinking unity, solidarity, friendship, love .... all the things as sisters we want for each other ... with each other.

I can only be true to who I am, as a mother, daughter, sister ... but most of all whose I am - His. Thank you God.