Winding Roads

Hi God,

44 and I have been down the road and back. A little with Ree's help ... sabotage!

I am hoping that we are back on track ... between the my scheduling at work and his availability I'm hoping that 44 is in for the long haul.

44 got his orders .... Houston, Texas in July. Still waiting for the promotion list to come out ... that may, yet,  send him some place else.

44 says I'll visit ...  I'm hoping ....

He's definately taking his time ... can't fault him ... I understand that meeting family will be a huge step for him. 44 has become a part of this family ... Ree and 44 ... 44 and Ree ... that's how my decisions are made with consideration ...

God, show me direction,

Love you alway,
Yo

Abandoned

Hi God,

44 is back from Saudi. Things just feel the same .... shouldn't there be some excitement, some anticipation about seeing the other. I don't get that from him.

Yesterday we went on our first bike ride since his return. Without telling me, he invited another soldier to ride. Normally I wouldn't have minded but this was my time with him since his return. Secondly, the soldier didn't bring his girlfriend with him.

When I got off of work yesterday, noticed 44 had called several times and left a message for me to return his call. When I did, he said he was on his way to track. Not okay, I'm ready to leave for the track was waiting to hear from you .... Perhaps, because he already had plans on riding with or without me.

I really consider my time with him riding as being very special. I just don't think we're on the same page. I try to anticipate when it comes to him. Is there anything that I could do to assist with .... and not anything specific ... just whatever.

Yesterday, it felt more like he was riding with the soldier than with me ... it was different. The soldier kept riding ahead, then 44 would leave me to catch up with him. He crossed intersection, where before he would wait. Then why didn't they just ride??? Because I asked 44 to ride was that why I was along???

The telling point ... 44 asked why I was riding so slow ... "You're killing me." I did tell him I know my way back. Perhaps I should have told him how I felt about the guest. I said to him that when I'm feeling like I am riding by myself ... then you can't be slow. His reply, "I gotcha." and rode off, leaving me at mile marker 8. He left me on the trail to go catch up with the soldier who rode off with a group of riders that were going more his speed. I was glad to see him go. 44 followed behind shortly after. Slap me in the face.

Remembering I had 44 keys with me ... I knew he would be waiting. What I didn't anticipate was the soldier would still be there! WTF!!! Whatever. Perhaps that says it all.

I don't feel like a couple. He doesn't involve me in the stuff of his life. He'll talk about his past. It will be a year ... never invited me home with him, I am almost sure that he hasn't spoke of me to his family. He hasn't made that commitment to me on any level ... not expressed to me.

Him leaving me on the trail ... left me feeling abandoned, alone.

If That's What You Want To Do????

Hi God,

44 is out of the country ... please continue to cover him. Cover me, Lord.

I'm not sure where we, as a couple, are??? He says we're good. But he left without saying good-bye ... I knew he was leaving but I thought he would talk to me before getting on the plane!!!!

If I am to give him credit ... 44 did call yesterday leaving a message on the home answering machine. He said he would call again.

I have about 16 messages saved ... sometimes I just play them to hear his voice.

It will be a year in a couple of months ... In a couple of months his contract loaning him to Camp Shelby will be up .... Then what???

I know You know ... I'll know soon enough.

As always ... Love you always,
Yo

John's Pineapple Upside Down Cake & Salmon Cakes

In His Hands ... What I Always thought Love Looked & Felt Like

Can I

Can I

Dedicated to the Sexiest Man I've Ever Known. My inspiration. The reason I can fly again.

John's Pineapple Upside-Down Cake --- Next Weeks's Dessert

I found this recipe and figured I'd better post it so I'll have it next week! I'm going to substitute cinnamon for the cardamon. John's Pineapple Upside-Down Cake

Submitted By: Chef John Prep Time: 15 Minutes Cook Time: 45 Minutes Ready In: 1 Hour 20 Minutes Servings: 12

"This iconic American dessert looks like a simple, rustic fruit cobbler when it comes out of the oven, all browned and bubbling, but a few minutes later, when it's turned over and that gloriously caramelized surface is revealed, it becomes so much more."

Ingredients:

1/4 cup butter 3/4 cup light brown sugar 1 tablespoon pineapple juice 1 tablespoon dark rum (optional) 1/2 small fresh pineapple - peeled, cored, and sliced 1/2 cup butter

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 cup white sugar 1 egg 1/2 cup cold milk

Directions:

1.	Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2.	Melt 1/4 cup butter in a 12-inch cast iron skillet over medium-low heat. Stir in brown sugar, pineapple juice, and dark rum. Cook over medium-low heat until sugar is dissolved and mixture is bubbling, about 5 minutes.
3.	Remove from heat and spread pineapple slices in a layer over the brown sugar mixture, completely covering the mixture. Set skillet aside.
4.	Melt 1/2 cup butter in small skillet over low heat until the butter begins to brown and release a nutty fragrance, about 5 minutes. Watch carefully, butter burns easily. Remove from heat and let cool for 10 minutes.
5.	Whisk together flour, cardamom, salt, baking powder, and white sugar in a large bowl. Whisk in egg and cold milk until just combined. Pour in melted butter and stir to mix thoroughly.
6.	Pour batter over the pineapple slices in the skillet; spread evenly to cover.
7.	Bake in preheated oven until the cake begins to bubble around the edges, the top is browned, and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 30 to 35 minutes. Let cool in the skillet for 10 minutes.
8.	Loosen the cake from the skillet by running a knife around the inside edge of the cake. Invert a large plate over the top of the skillet and flip over, releasing the cake to show the pineapple slices on top.

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Printed from Allrecipes.com 3/19/2012