Hi God,
First day back from demobilization. Asked my husband ... how about us spending the night together. To my surprise ... I got an unanticipated rebuttal. He asked, why spend one night together? I'm thinking why the discussion.
I explained that I have hopes for us, our marriage. With the months apart from the deployment, we would be able to begin rebuilding, fixing, the foundation of our marriage. Continue the work I thought we were doing in our nightly conversations. Yet, I did want to move all the way back into the master bedroom for the same reasons. There has been a lot of broken promises, commitments, betrayal, disrespect, the spitting, name calling, JAIL! ALOT OF GARBAGE TO SORT THROUGH.
After my efforts were rebuked, I went on upstairs to my bedroom leaving him in the living room. Later, I noticed he's in his bedroom with the door closed. Deja Vu!
I went down to his bedroom to cut of the television ..... his cell phone ringing .... 11:30pm. I look at the phone face and its a number with a name. Itching to answer I don't .... send it to voicemail .... Guess what ... God, I know you already know, lol. It's rhetorical. The number call back! Ok, now we know what time it is. Still I didn't answer but "she" did leave a voicemail this time.
So the next morning, I had Sean a piece of paper with the number on it .... "I don't know this number" he says. Whatever! I offered this is a good time for an explanation, an opportunity to clear up this lie and explain. Nope, he kept to his story ... TELEMARKETER! SMH .... REALLY!
Well, I texted the telemarketer:
"Good morning, This is Yo, the wife of Sean______. You called him last night while he was sleeping. He didn't have your named saved to his phone. So I just took down the number. When I presented the number to him this morning, he doesn't know it. You wil not be the first woman that my husband has not disclosed his marital status. Therefore, I have no issues with you. Unless you knew. You know now. You have my number."
I told Sean about the text. He said she's going to call you. In surprise, why? She has no reason to call me ... she should be calling you! Maybe she did, I'm not sure. But when I went to go check my phone. Surenuff, I had a missed call. I called her back. "Hello", "Hello" she replied. "I'm sorry I don't know your name but I don't need to." She asks, "Is he with you now?" "Yes, right in front of me" "May I speak to him." "Surely" "Sean, the telemarketer would like to speak to you." "Ah, ah, ah" "Mam, I think he doesn't want to speak with you on my phone. I think he's going to call you back from his phone after he leaves our home." "Ok" "Good-bye"
Will his lying and cheating ever stop. There is never any remorse. Just the opposite. Now, the name calling is back: Bitch, Whore, Leach, Freeloader! He's back!
Took liverwurst out of the fridge to eat. Sean hurries out of his seat to the kitchen grabs the sandwich meat from my hand, out of my mouth, and the remaining package on the counter, Sean, I rather throw it in the trash than to allow you to eat it. The turkey burgers he snatched, I'll piss on them first. The bag of coffee, he threatens to open and empty in the trash.
God, you would of thought that I did the betraying.
As long as I have you Lord, I'll will be okay,
Yo
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Reunited Again! The Past 5 Months
Hello God!
The past five months have been a whirlwind to say the least.
FEMA called with an orientation schedule giving enough notice to schedule time away from my employer.
Then it happened, Hurricane Harvey, Maria and Irma all within weeks of each other. Now, expect to be deployed from EMO: Emergency Management Orientation. Resigned from my employer and off to EMO!
Went from Virginia to Nevada to Texas! Left September 17th, one day home in November, and demob to return home Feb. 2, 2018.
I had three interviews: landed one of the them .... the least pay but may have farther reaching benefits! The VA!
Thank you God!
YO!
The past five months have been a whirlwind to say the least.
FEMA called with an orientation schedule giving enough notice to schedule time away from my employer.
Then it happened, Hurricane Harvey, Maria and Irma all within weeks of each other. Now, expect to be deployed from EMO: Emergency Management Orientation. Resigned from my employer and off to EMO!
Went from Virginia to Nevada to Texas! Left September 17th, one day home in November, and demob to return home Feb. 2, 2018.
I had three interviews: landed one of the them .... the least pay but may have farther reaching benefits! The VA!
Thank you God!
YO!
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
Closer to Being Farther from the Past
Thank you so very much. Getting around to getting this implant and saying good-bye to the fist in the mouth by one. Good-bye Doc. I should have let him leave that day. I pulled him back from walking out the door. Nope, kept him from leaving and this is what I got.
So, many times you have opened a door to advance me and/or protect me from others ... and myself.
I had the dead tooth pulled last December 2016. Then the flipper. Today, the anchor! In 120 days the final tooth.
Moving farther from the past!
Saturday, September 9, 2017
Am I a Ladder or Rope
Dear God,
Do I show Casini, Dorian, Isaac how to get out ... a ladder. Or, am I allowing them to pull on me to get out of their mess ... a rope.
Casini is doing well.
Dorian is trying. Until he understands himself, he'll continue to struggle because this barrier is keep him from being successful. He has what it takes to be successful.
Isaac, is lost. Lost, rejects all assistance. But is willing to beg.
Do I show Casini, Dorian, Isaac how to get out ... a ladder. Or, am I allowing them to pull on me to get out of their mess ... a rope.
Casini is doing well.
Dorian is trying. Until he understands himself, he'll continue to struggle because this barrier is keep him from being successful. He has what it takes to be successful.
Isaac, is lost. Lost, rejects all assistance. But is willing to beg.
When Is the First Time You Remember?
Hi God,
Ivanla's #FIXMYLIFE, I didn't catch the episode number but it's about a husband who admits his abuse. Ivanla asks the wife why do you stay? How do you lay next to someone that chokes you, calls you the vulgar of names .... My story
Ivanla's discussion with her where she suggests this is not the first time a man has put their hands on you. Question to the wife, "When is the first time a man put his hands on you?" When she was 4 and was molested.
When was the first time I remember a man putting his hands on me. Joe Lonesome, I'll never forget his name. No molestation but very violent. He was violent with mom .... he was violent with me ... and she, mom, forgave him, protected him. She betrayed me by not protecting me.
Next time, my grandfather. Gee and I were home alone. Gee had one of the neighborhood boys in the house. We sat in the living room talking. When daddy came home, we all were scared. I remember telling him ... she didn't do anything, they were just talking. Against the bathroom door I was pushed. Daddy put his hands around my neck while telling me that she was his daughter. I was not to tell him anything about what to do with her.
Then there's my husband, Sean. When people show you who they are ... believe them! When they say they're meaner than anyone I would have known or will ever know.
Ivanla's #FIXMYLIFE, I didn't catch the episode number but it's about a husband who admits his abuse. Ivanla asks the wife why do you stay? How do you lay next to someone that chokes you, calls you the vulgar of names .... My story
Ivanla's discussion with her where she suggests this is not the first time a man has put their hands on you. Question to the wife, "When is the first time a man put his hands on you?" When she was 4 and was molested.
When was the first time I remember a man putting his hands on me. Joe Lonesome, I'll never forget his name. No molestation but very violent. He was violent with mom .... he was violent with me ... and she, mom, forgave him, protected him. She betrayed me by not protecting me.
Next time, my grandfather. Gee and I were home alone. Gee had one of the neighborhood boys in the house. We sat in the living room talking. When daddy came home, we all were scared. I remember telling him ... she didn't do anything, they were just talking. Against the bathroom door I was pushed. Daddy put his hands around my neck while telling me that she was his daughter. I was not to tell him anything about what to do with her.
Then there's my husband, Sean. When people show you who they are ... believe them! When they say they're meaner than anyone I would have known or will ever know.
Sunday, June 25, 2017
One Week Ago Today
Dear God,
Sharon Graves Grover "researched" me .... Now, I've researched her: husband, Reginald and 3 grown daughters.
How does the side-bitch research the wife? Why? She was curious ... What did she expect to find? Did she think about ... what if this was done to me ... vindictive ... that's what she called me ... I had the propensity to be vindictive ... I sent her husband and daughter's the text messages.
Called JoAnn. Let her know Sean didn't move to Florida ... he still here in Jackson.
The names change: Stephanie, Liza, Alice, JoAnn ... it remains the same. All believing Sean is single.
Went to church, came home. And it was on .... I'm so angry about the betrayal, the lies, the lack of compassion.
Sean spat in my face .... twice.
Anger ... cause I contacted Alice and Joann. He promised Alice I wouldn't contact her husband ... she can text and whatever and more with mines ... unchecked.
He took the cable from me. Told me to get the rest of my clothes out of the master bedroom. He dumped my clothes on the floor. Sean told me not to move the dresser guest room where I've been sleeping. He watched me move it by myself to Miles' room. Stood there and watched.
He kept on running his mouth. I threw away the plate dinner from McDade's. The name calling. I emptied his medication on the floor. His stuff. Sean hates to have his "stuff" violated. If you could care for me half as much.
Sean called the police. Wanting one of us to leave ... Sean refused. I refused. Then the talk of going to jail. Sean said it was okay with him ... just to see me go. Hell no, not again. I left. I will always leave from now on. He said he had nothing to lose. He would go to jail to ruin my life.
What kind of sick shit is that?
He's a punk ass bitch. Not a soldier. Not a protector. Not a husband. Not a friend.
God, if this is the place where I am suppose to be ... then, please chasten and change Sean's heart. If not, please open a door so I may leave with everything restored.
I thank you God for all things. Thank you for my Lord Jesus, the Christ.
Sharon Graves Grover "researched" me .... Now, I've researched her: husband, Reginald and 3 grown daughters.
How does the side-bitch research the wife? Why? She was curious ... What did she expect to find? Did she think about ... what if this was done to me ... vindictive ... that's what she called me ... I had the propensity to be vindictive ... I sent her husband and daughter's the text messages.
Called JoAnn. Let her know Sean didn't move to Florida ... he still here in Jackson.
The names change: Stephanie, Liza, Alice, JoAnn ... it remains the same. All believing Sean is single.
Went to church, came home. And it was on .... I'm so angry about the betrayal, the lies, the lack of compassion.
Sean spat in my face .... twice.
Anger ... cause I contacted Alice and Joann. He promised Alice I wouldn't contact her husband ... she can text and whatever and more with mines ... unchecked.
He took the cable from me. Told me to get the rest of my clothes out of the master bedroom. He dumped my clothes on the floor. Sean told me not to move the dresser guest room where I've been sleeping. He watched me move it by myself to Miles' room. Stood there and watched.
He kept on running his mouth. I threw away the plate dinner from McDade's. The name calling. I emptied his medication on the floor. His stuff. Sean hates to have his "stuff" violated. If you could care for me half as much.
Sean called the police. Wanting one of us to leave ... Sean refused. I refused. Then the talk of going to jail. Sean said it was okay with him ... just to see me go. Hell no, not again. I left. I will always leave from now on. He said he had nothing to lose. He would go to jail to ruin my life.
What kind of sick shit is that?
He's a punk ass bitch. Not a soldier. Not a protector. Not a husband. Not a friend.
God, if this is the place where I am suppose to be ... then, please chasten and change Sean's heart. If not, please open a door so I may leave with everything restored.
I thank you God for all things. Thank you for my Lord Jesus, the Christ.
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