Good morning God,
Good Friday to all
Loyalty, in general use, is a devotion and faithfulness to a nation, cause, philosophy, country, group, or person. Philosophers disagree on what can be an object of loyalty, as some argue that loyalty is strictly interpersonal and only another human being can be the object of loyalty.
Integrity is the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions.
God, I pray you continue to guide me in a life that exemplifies a life lived with integrity. Loyalty, it sounds like a good character trait ... but what I've just experienced ... I rather have persons around me whose character leads them, and not because:
We've, Friend 1 and Friend 2, known each since we were kids ... we were so close as kids, I (Friend 1) was always at his (Friend 2) house, we shared the same bathtub at 4 years old. His family, his mom looked out for me. We're brothers in every sense of the word, except by blood.
Integrity says that you will lead with your conscious, with a sense of right or wrong ... whether you know the person or not, whether someone's looking or you alone ... You do the right thing even when no ones looking.
Friend 1 asked me to befriend Friend 2. Friend 2, is wheelchair bound and had been a really good friend to Mom. They needed each other's company. I tried to give support to his friend, just as I did for my Mom. Putting the support services in place where I saw gaps: occupational therapy, CNA services, psychiatric services, food delivery, and GOOD nurses - not the ones who only work when someone's looking. I was asked by Friend 2 to contact Relative 1 (brother) bringing him up to speed on Friend 2 medical, home health services, legal matters, etc. This was me passing the baton to Relative 1, after Friend 1 refused to take it.
Friend 2 talks up Relative 1 describing a man of good character, a pillar in the community, ol'school, and showing up as real man. Friend 2 - I can't wait for you to meet my brother. When Friend 1 learns of the introduction, he feels Friend 2 has been disloyal to orchestrate the exchanging numbers, believing there's an alternate agenda.
Friend 1 began, in anger, spewing insults about Relative 1, then retracting them ... I shouldn't have said that. I mistook this as jealousy, followed by what I thought was remorse .... Aesop's Fable, Sour Grapes. Later, learning that I was mistaken. It was loyalty. Loyalty to Friend 2.
Relative 1 showed no interest in his brother.. Integrity. To date, Relative 1 hasn't pick it up either.
I was never a consideration of neither. I only cared about Friend 1. For 2 months, he refused to speak to me. I thought we were more than that. He broke my heart; he broke my spirit. In a matter of minutes I became "irrelevant."
Friend 1 argued disloyalty, yet: you are a serial cheater in your past and present relationships. Have you ever had an honest relationship where you didn't cheat? No
Why did I expect respect and integrity from you? Loyalty vs Integrity.
I would later learn from the spouse (Relative 2) of Friend 2 that Relative1 was an abuser with a history of physically beating up his second wife on multiple occasions, taking money from women - Friend 2's nurses ... having them send/wire money then ghost them, never paying them back. Integrity vs Loyalty.
The comments Friend 1 had started to warn me of, but decided in the moment that his loyalty to Friend 2 was more important than his integrity as a man: a Protector, a Provider, a Teacher. He missed a moment of redemption for past transgressions.
I was suppose to be Friend 3 to Friend 1. Friend 1's loyalty to Friend 2 kept him from seeing me as a vulnerable woman, his mother, his daughter, his sister that was walking towards harm's way, and decided to retract what had actually been truthful, ethically leading, acting with integrity, and deciding to turn a blind-eye to what could have potentially happend when no one was watching. I could have ended up in the hospital or dead, trying to assist Friend 1's friend.Thank you God.
God, you protect me when no ones does or cares to do the same for me. You've protected me from Sean. Thank you. You protected me from yet what could have ended in tragedy, deceit, and preyed upon.
I haven't shared what Relative 2 told me. There's no need. Friend 1 wasn't a friend any longer at the moment he retracted what would have been a warning; the right thing to do.
I write it here.
As always, I love you Jesus and thank you for sacrificing Your life for me. I believe in Your resurrection.
Jesus lives!
Yo
