Projecting .... Such an Understatement. Fool, Your Words ...

Arnold,

Give: "gentleness, patience, trustworthiness, kindness and affection" and it most certainly will come back to you. There is a lack of self-awareness coupled with the accusatory, judgmental and condescending monologues prohibiting/stifling "gentleness, patience, trustworthiness, kindness and affection".

Sometimes, you need to shut the mediator off ... its not neutral, its not reflective ... it can actually be inflammatory and cruel.

-----Original Message-----
From: Arnold
To: Yo
Sent: Thu, Mar 5, 2015 10:14 pm
Subject: Re: This is what I do and say when I am absolutely furious...

   
If I am erring in interpreting, what I describe as anger, please forgive me.  Whatever it is that I see and feel is something that you are entitled to, something you do well and something that seems pretty consistent.  Like conflict, anger is pretty normal and ubiquitous.  I may be acting like the fool who is 'projecting.'  If hurtful and disappointing things happened to me that I did not ask for, earn or deserve I would be angry off the scale.

My apologies for thinking what I would do is and feel is what you are doing and feeling.

Also - my bad - if I was actually trespassing on the internet when I suddenly found a surprising pocket of information about you,  then I clearly mess up on my journey-ing.  In truth, I didn't know any better.  I thought what was there was there was written to be read..by anybody. ( I thought) I was taking care...
   
In a message dated 3/5/2015 10:03:22 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, Yo writes:  
   
         
Seething with anger .... your assumptions are premature and presumptuous. You listen, analyze, formulated a deliberate response ... yet, you haven't felt me at all.
         
I think your googling me ... took away from the journey of getting to know me.

Take care.

Sent on a Boost Samsung Galaxy S® III
     
-------- Original message --------    
     
From: Arnold
     
Date:03/05/2015 9:35 PM (GMT-05:00)     
     
To:  Yo
     
Cc: Arnold
     
Subject: This is what I do and say when I am absolutely furious...


an absolutely. determined to win.
      
I don't get angry, mean, physical or loud and 'celebrate' the problem.  Instead, I try to stay calm, use the King's English and I try to solve the problem, so I can emerge from the quiet fight as a victor.     
      
      
      
See the attachments, which may be out of order...

BTW - I don't think I am right for you as a lover or as a romantic interest.  I am too old, too set in my ways and totally unsure of what to do with myself and the experiences that life has packed up inside of me.  I do think I am great friend material and hope we can find our way to friendship.

My babbling of the last few days, my ambiguousness, the, seeming, pointlessness of my anecdotes have been engendered by me trying to buy some time (and keep your attention long enough) to figure out what to make of you, the (almost fierce) aggression I sense in you and what to make of me being torn by a need for gentleness, patience, trustworthiness, kindness and affection and my realization that this may simply not be where you are - right now.  I think you may be seething with anger and now I have a better grasp of some of its origins.  Maybe I can be a lake that you sit beside which helps you find more peacefulness...
      
xo       
Arnold