Thank you for my health and strength. Thank you for loving and providing for me. You, alone God...
I was so hurt last nite ... he doesn't even fathom the hurt ... or its easier to ignore and it ... "And keep it movin" as he says
I asked 44 what plans he had for us for Valentine's ... he joked it off ... What day is that?
Well, he said he was broke .. okay, its not about gifts but it about how you feel about me ... how I feel about you ... Is it one day out of the year .... No, but it is a day set aside by the calendar to take time out
I asked him to cook me dinner .... he agreed, at his place.
After two hours, I called Ree only to find out that he was at my place waiting ...
He believes I should have called Ree after 30 minutes had passed.
I believe that once he arrived to my home ... he should have turned around and made his way home ...
His comment, "how long were you going to wait... 3, 4 hours?" I felt so stupid at that point. I would have waited ...
Then, "You messing up my schedule." What does that mean???
I don't know .... but it doesn't feel like I'm a priority .... Never an apology ... I felt like the confusion was made to be my negligence.
What happened to "as long as a see a smile come upon your face .... I'm doin what I'm suppose to do"
If there's someone else ... I don't need or want this.
I handed him his present in the parking lot ... He didn't even know that I wore the red sexy stuff under the trench! He left mines at the house .... he didn't invite me in. Kissed me and gave me a hug. He might as well slapped me on the ass ... Excuse me, Lord ...
It felt like he came to tell me my alloted time had expired and he needed to "keep it moving" to maintain his "schedule".... He had somewhere else to be ... don't know that ... but it felt like it...
I don't want to be part of his "schedule" ... I had hoped to be part of his life. I had hoped that he cared for me as I was caring for him.
I really don't want to go to work today ... last night made me feel ill ... heartache ... heartbreak. Couldn't sleep ... I have such a headache.
Always,
Yo
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