tHOUGHT i'D dO It A liTTlE dIFFErEntLY!
Last nite I asked 44 if he had any questions for me ... Surprisingly ... he did ...
But not at all about what I thought ...
How many guys have I dated since arriving in Mississippi .... hmmm ... where did this come from?? Although, I didn't ask him to clarify ... I answered based on the relationship that had an expectation of commitment and monogamy.... not the casual dinner or Match.com dates ...
I don't know God ... but I answered him: Sean, the retired Marine Lt.; Carl, the Constable; and Mitch, the local guy ... Not sure why he wanted to know about that???
His conversation then focused on Mitch ... Mitch stayed for what ... 3 weeks ... then moved out ... back into his trailer ... we kept seeing each other ... there was no betrayal ... different values, expectations ... goals. Eventually, we grew apart. If you ask Chicago ... he would say Mitch had a hidden agenda ... and when that didn't pan out ... he moved out .... away from the responsibilities of being the head of household ... being involved with a woman with large responsibilities ... children, my mother, homes, cars, bills ... and a large career! Mitch did say my world was toooo big for him. I, too, began to lose respect for Mitch ... didn't see him in that position at all, worst not capable ... or maybe he just didn't want to do that. Perhaps, he just wanted to be taken care of ... soak up ... without giving back!
Well, I thank you God ... my prayer for me it that You are enough for me. When You place me where You want me to be it will be.
I enjoy my time with 44 and wish for more .... he's taking it slow. I respect that most about him. he's wants to make sure she's, me, is the right choice for him ....
Cool beans ... that's what he said in response ... I guess everything, whatever that is, is good.
One husband: my man, my lover, my friend ... that's my prayer for me.
Is it 44 --- only you know God. I will say God that this is different than any other ... and as it should be ...
I purchased another book, Blessing to Your Husband. God, if someday you decide to bless me to be a wife ... I do want to be a blessing to my husband: to take care of him, his needs ... to pray over him for health, strenght and protection... for covering.
Is 44 my boyfriend ... I guess I'll find out tomorrow .. Valentine's Day
Till tomorrow,
Always in love with you ...God,
Yo
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